Shrinking the gap between “good enough” and “just so”
Long Story Short
Instead of deep-diving into WHY I’m a perfectionist, or where my desire to make everything ‘just so’ comes from*, I’m putting energy into thinking about how this approach to life might be holding me back – and considering which areas of my life can be ‘just so’, as they are, and what deserves my Empire-building Energy. *we don’t have this kind of time
Long Story Long
I want everything to be juuuuuuuust so.
As in, perfectly executed, not a hair out of place, on time, as calculated, exactly as it appears on the calendar (or often, in my head). And to be clear, this isn’t just about work – this is about life. For example, getting ready in the morning is the best and worst part of my day: the best because if I have the PERFECT outfit, with the ‘just so’ hair, and the companion lipstick – I’m set up for a great day. But, it comes as the cost of dedicating an hour or more to this process, and heaven forbid, the shirt that would’ve made the outfit perfect is in the laundry, or can’t be found, or has a mystery stain.
I would let this ruin my day.
I’m still like this. I haven’t ‘cracked the code’ on being a perfectionist and live an easy-breezy life now (there are tons of resources out there if that’s what you’re looking for). To be clear: I’m not on a quest to make the pendulum swing the other direction. It is not my goal to walk out of the house with no planning, no effort, in whatever mismatched clothes I can find, or to be ready in 10 minutes or less.
Instead, I’m figuring out what type of energy I give to different areas of my life, and where ‘just so’ really counts. With my business, I’m on a mission to build an empire. And so I use this as my internal measuring tool: What deservers my Empire-building Energy?
What deservers my Empire-building Energy?
Right now, my EBE goes to:
AW (the brand, podcast, groups I’m speaking to, sharing my message with the world)
clients of my other business
Robin and me. My home life gets EBE (bonus: it also recharges me)
These things may change, but I can always come back to this question to reassess.
Ask the audience
On Instagram, I asked people what perfectionism feels like for them, and how it holds them back. I was astounded by the responses, as each one had me nodding along and saying “oooh yes!” or “I totally get that”
Here are just a few:
Perfectionism feels like...
Paralyzing 🙅♀️🏻 (@karmenmeyerphotography)
A deep pit of despair! (@mrslaurendary)
A dark cloud suffocating all the creativity out of the room. (@iamhannahhamilton)
...taking forever to finish my thesis because it always seemed like it could be better! (@courtney.lakevold)
...a lie. (@loveand_war)
...like there isn’t any room for diversity. (@kalinhrd).
Shit. (@the.northern.table)
Long story long, we aren’t going to instantly become easy-going, laissez faire, breezy people. But, we can find little spots where we shorten the distance between “good enough” and “just so”. We can take the energy that we would normally put into making something perfect and move it to trying something new, spending time differently, or completing something that may turn out to be less than perfect.
B minus work still changes lives, my friend. Decide what gets your B- and what gets your EBE.
Imperfectly yours,
